The person wearing the Steelers hat doesn't always want to be your friend

This may be the longest blog title known to man.  But, it's true.  The person wearing the Steelers hat doesn't always want to be your friend.  Do you know what that tells me?  That tells me that the person isn't actually from Pittsburgh.  Hearing that I am from Pittsburgh should generate some sort of interest in being my friend if you are, in fact, a Pittsburgher.  Seeing that you don't give a shit shows me that you are from California, pretending to be a Steelers fan.  LIAR!

But really, who am I kidding?  I lived in Pittsburgh for eight years and wasn't really a Steelers fan.  Yay Eagles!

Here's my problem:

Laguna Beach is a vacation spot made famous by the MTV reality show (I have never watched it, so I wouldn't know... *crickets*....)  Ok, Ok, you got me.  I re-watched the entire first season the first 3 days I moved here.  Like I was saying, so many people from all over the country (and world) come to California, specifically Laguna Beach, that it's hard not to spot someone on any given day wearing a Steelers tshirt or a Phillies hat. 

The good news is that I found a solution to preventing the urge of wanting to approach anyone wearing Pittsburgh or Philadelphia sports paraphernalia - get some of my own!  That way, interested parties would approach ME and I would engage in some friendly conversations and make friends.  I know many of you would suggest that I refrain from wearing my Eagles jersey, as that may cause some backlash and I agree.  The Eagles stuff stays inside 468 Third St. Apt B.

I've decided to put a rant about California in every blog post - something funny I've realized about the state of California or Orange County.  Below is today's.

As if the people weren't posh enough in the OC, California cars are too good for car washes at the local gas station.  Cars in California are taken to Car Spas.  I'm not even joking.  There is no such thing as a car wash.  Let's say I needed to give Harlem a bath.  In Pittsburgh, I would either go to the drive-thru car wash at the Exxon station at Forbes and McKee on my way home from work, go to the car wash at the Get-Go in Aspinwall or by Century 3, or go to the place with the hose in Wilkinsburg during daylight hours.  No such place like that in California exists - at least I haven't driven past one yet.  Scott went yesterday and he had to wait  40 minutes to have his car cleaned.  I told him I would appreciate the attention to detail but I could understand how annoying that would be if you were under strict time restraints.  Not only does it take 40 minutes, but it costs an arm and a leg.  Nothing in California is cheap.  NOTHING!

PS, I feel like I'm 16 again!  I have to take the written test at the California DMV to get a California license.  I'm going tomorrow.  Wish me luck!!

Help me Help YOU be my friend

Time and distance separate people.  Knowing this, I’m going to do all that I can to remain in touch with everyone from 3,000 miles away.  I know that there are certain things I can do to remain a super friend, but I came up with a list of things for you to work on while we’re apart.  Below is a list of “suggestions” or “recommendations” for continuing our relationship.  I’m not going to say that they are “rules and regulations” since that would be a little too harsh (even though that probably sounds like something I would write – seems fitting with my slightly controlling, obsessive personality.)

Top 5 Ways to Remain Super Friends

1.  Call me:   If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far.  Yes, and thank you “Stepmom” for making that song popular a few years ago.  But, what they forgot in that o – so famous song was the set time limits, so let’s do that.  Remember that California is on Pacific time which is 3 hours behind Eastern time… at all times.  We’re not confusing like Arizona which sometimes is 2 hours behind and sometimes 3 hours behind.  So, to remain a super friend, call me… after 10am est.  I love you dearly, but I don’t need to know how annoying morning traffic patterns are in Pittsburgh.  Same goes for night time.  I ENCOURAGE you to drunk dial me – even though we’re all at that age where none of us really drink anymore.  Remember that 2am eastern is only 11pm pacific and Scott and I could always go for a good bedtime story.  Likewise, I am awake for those 1am feedings, my mommy and daddy friends.  I can’t carry a tune but maybe the strange voice over the phone is enough to hold your child’s attention while you make a bottle if your spouse is unwilling to wake up to help. 


2.  Don’t Ruin my Shows:  I feel like there is no need to elaborate on this, but be careful when posting tv climaxes to Facebook since primetime tv happens 3 hours later on the west coast.  I don’t want my primetime routine ruined, super friend.  It’s bad enough that I’m not watching the Today Show live every morning and that it says “previously recorded” on the screen the entire time (Bastards.)  I know this is a lot to ask, but if you wouldn’t mind posting “Spoiler Alert” before any TV status updates on Facebook, I’ll know to skip over it when I’m doing my rounds.  That would be a huge help, super friend.

3.  Visitors Welcome:  Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.  I encourage you to schedule time to come out to visit me and Scott while we’re living in Laguna Beach.   If you loved us when we were in Pittsburgh/Philly, you’re going to love us even more when we live 3 blocks away from the beach – with the Pacific Ocean (which I’m sure most of you aren’t that familiar with.)  Scott and I are fully aware that some of you may be using us for our “beach house,” and we are happy to let it slide, super friend.   We just ask that you give us a heads up of at least 24 hours before you ring the bell (actually, I don’t think our bungalow has a bell, so maybe you’ll have to knock.)  In return, we won’t ask for anything but maybe some Pittsburgh treats that we can’t find in California.  Or, maybe you’ll treat us to delicious fro-yo one night.  I just said fro-yo, super friend.  That’s what they say in California instead of saying frozen yogurt.  It’s probably because Californians are so relaxed and chill and they don’t have enough motivation to say full words... haha just kidding, Cali.

4.  Keep me in the loop:  Just because I don’t live down the street, come to work every day, sign into gchat at 9am eastern time, or make unnecessary trips with you to the Waterfront twice a week doesn’t mean I don’t care about you and what’s going on in your life (or the life of others.)  I’m just as interested in the gossip as I was before, if not more!  So, if something interesting happens that is juicy and fun to talk about, may I suggest that you write it down so you can tell me at a later date and time?  I will happily purchase a notepad and pen that is small enough to fit in your purse and/or back pocket to carry around with you on a daily basis.  Or, maybe you can just buy it and send me the receipt and I’ll reimburse you for it so I don’t have to pay shipping costs for a notepad.  I never want to ask you “What’s been going on? What have I missed?” and you respond with “o, nothing much. Same old ish, different day.”  That, super friend, is not a good answer.  I need you to keep me connected.  So, be my eyes and ears and keep my up to speed with what’s going on in your neck of the woods.  DISCLAIMER:  If you choose to buy a notepad and would like to send me a receipt for reimbursement, please wait until I become employed again.  Thank you in advance.

5.  Read my blog:  Paperback, paper back, paper, back, writer, paperback writer, writer, writer.  OK, that song’s intro is not an easy song to type lyrics for AT ALL!!  I know that I’m not writing a book, so the song doesn’t really fit with the title, but I couldn’t think of another song and I’m secretly hoping that one day this blog can be put in book form and sell millions of copies so I don’t have to worry about being unemployed.  With that being said, I’m going to try my hardest to keep up with this blog and not forget about it.  Coming up with content shouldn’t be too hard, as I except to do a lot of new and interesting fun things while being in this new place with Scott.  If you notice that I’m slacking on the blog, I need you to be the super friend that you are and remind me that I’m due for an entry.  This is going to be the best way to keep up with my adventures.  Feel free to subscribe and comment – it makes me feel good that people are reading.  I’m not only doing this for me, but I’m doing this for you.

So, here we are, super friend.  I’m in the beautiful state of California with my love.  I would like to share with you a line from the text message I received yesterday during my travels from my awesome, beautiful older sister, which made me cry even though she said not to:

“Onward and upward little girl.  It’s time to go on life’s best adventure.  No tears, only good things are in store for you.  Smile and go… tomorrow is the first day of your new life.”

An interactive blog post

A list of some things I remember from Pittsburgh.  I hope some of this makes you laugh.  If you can think of any memories that I forgot (and I know some of you will), add them in your comments...

20th Floor Tower B
8th Floor Tower B
Scotty the Hot Dog Man
Getting lost dahntahn
THE OC in 21st Floor Lounge
11 Shots of Bankers Club (oy)
Pitt Football games
Random roadtrips to Ohio
Taco Salads at Eddies
Concerts at Laga
O Fries
PDE
Horrible costumes from the costume closets
Antoons
KFC late night biscuits
Marketplace/Seaside
Black Velvet
Smoregasm
Light Up Nights
19th Birthday on Ward Street
Horrible obsession with jager
FPC
PIST takes over Tremblant
"When I think about you I touch myself"
Falling asleep on toilets at PDM
Greek Sing(s)
Bid Nights at the Union
Movies in the park
My Bat Mitzvah video
37 minutes of my 21 birthday
Spring Break for old people
Oakland Avenue Halloween Party
Northwestern Mutual Financial Network
Boom Boom Room
Margharita Mamas Thursday night curfew
Porch sitting
Hookah on Atwood
Hookah @ Jackie's
Genes Place
Sunday night cartoons at Genes
Tuesday night G-door Karaoke
Geriatric power hour
Karaoke at Spice
Mr. Big "To Be With You"
Sorority Senior bar crawl
Mixers
Laying on Oakland avenue
Jumping on stage with the band at Peters
Halloweens at Kappa Sigma
All parties at Kappa Sigma
4 in 1 cake plate
SouthSide bar crawls
Dancing on the bar at Town Tavern
Boom Boom room
Red Lobster on McKnight Road
Birthright Israel!
Memorial Day weekends in Maryland
Vodka and Latkes x 3!
Milkbag
Mooooobies
Deck sitting
Brashear Street
Kennywood mullets
Ribfest
Food Chain
Ohiopyle
Passovers at the Farki's
Red Oak Cafe
Oakland Chinese buffet
Noon walks in Schenley
First Fridays
Surprise parties
The Fed