I do. And I have no shame. He knows I do it. He does it too - he just doesn't blog about it. Actually, I've been told it's no longer stalking now that he is, in fact, my fiance. I'm still going to refer to it as stalking since I believe it adds some sort of fun dynamic to our relationship. So, I stalk my fiance on Facebook. There's nothing there, he doesn't post anything exciting, but I stalk.
Let me also tell you that he's one of the first to read these posts, so he is going to LOVE this intro.
Last week was termed "Steph Week" at the Federation. It was my last week employed... I almost wrote "at the Federation" after "employed," but really, it doesn't matter since it's true regardless. I am now... unemployed. Before I talk about my unemployed future, I'll talk about my most recently employed week.
Monday wasn't anything special. It was my last marketing meeting and my last supervision. From the moment I began working at the Federation, I used both as platforms to talk about my feelings on a weekly basis. My co-workers and supervisors always seemed invested in what I had to say. Funny that the last time I had an audience, I didn't really have much to say.
Tuesday was my goodbye breakfast. I told myself, and everyone, that I wasn't going to cry and I was fine. Emily got up first to talk. She kept it short and sweet so she wouldn't start crying. Then Ellen spoke. She also kept it short and sweet - no tears. And then it was my turn. Within the first few words, which I think were "I started working here when I was 22 as a professional staff member," I started crying. I gave warning though. I did say "Ok, I'm going to cry now" before I started. I think most people appreciated the warning.
Wednesday was my goodbye lunch. A group of us went to Elbow Room for some grub. As I was sitting there, I realized that Elbow Room was the first place that I went to on an outreach when I first started working at Federation. Like everything else, it had to go full circle.
Thursday wasn't anything special, and then came Friday, my last day at work. I was campaigning all week for a pajama day on Friday. I thought I would give it a shot and even convinced people to join my campaign team. Well, that didn't happen (no surprise there), but the next best thing happened... a jeans day. I love jeans days. Friday, I had my exit interview with the ceo, a last chance marketing meeting which ended in a song which made both me and marilyn cry, saying goodbye to those that wanted to say goodbye, and about 1.5 hrs of angry birds. It was a great last day at work. I couldn't have asked for a better last day. I held it together too. I didn't cry until I turned off my light. The moment that it flicked off, I broke down.
That brings me to now - the evening before the first day back to work after a three day weekend. Everyone who has a job is dreading the return to work tomorrow. I, on the other hand, am excited for tomorrow, when I will play with my nephew all day long. I mean, why not? He's cute and I have nothing time sensitive to do tomorrow. So, I'm going to push everything off a day and I'm going to save Will and Shannon $30 by watching Holden tomorrow.
Thought for the day: Change is really hard. Venturing away from familiarity is hard. No one said that change is easy. I'm moving across the country. I have no job. I HAVE NO JOB! I'm extremely nervous about not having a pay check. Me being the rational individual that I am, I know that love and rainbows and pixie dust and fairies can't pay the bills. They don't buy food and they don't make your car run... but, we'll make it work.
And, I'm beginning to understand that complacency is worse. Where would I be in five years if Scott and I didn't make the decision to try something new? Honestly, I can use the challenge.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
You ARE NOT going to believe this
Seriously. You're not... unless you knew about it beforehand. (Long blog, it's worth the read.)
Let me set the scene for you. Saturday afternoon, beautiful day in Pittsburgh, one of the last few weekends that I'm still going to be living in the Pittsburgh area. The following is the day from my point of view...
I set my alarm for 7am on Saturday morning. People don't do that 'just because', in case you are wondering. Not on a Saturday. Shannon and I were participating in a 5k walk on the North Shore. Tangent: Of course we decide that these types of community events are fun one week before I leave. FANTASTIC! Boo.
By the time we finished the walk, it was about 10am. Not only did we decide to go get breakfast at that point since I had only eaten a banana and Shannon only had a granola bar, but we decided that the place we absolutely had to go to was IHOP. I hadn't been to the IHOP on the way to the Waterfront yet and obviously my life would not be complete unless I made a visit before I moved out of town. Tangent: The last time I was in an IHOP, I was wee and I think I threw up in the dining room. I didn't even make it to the bathroom. You can ask Dr. Barry for the details, but I can't promise you he will remember. It's safe to assume that this is the reason why I haven't been to an IHOP since.
So, we get Holden, the stroller and us into the car and I navigate Shannon to 376. At that point, we're happy, we're laughing, we're driving in the hamster car on a gorgeous day and BAM! - stuck in a flippin' traffic jam. At first, our response is, "aw man! This stinks!" Then we get hungry and after 5 minutes of not moving, in addition to Shannon's road rage kicking in, our happy, fun moods turn sour. We convinced ourselves it was the Raptor. (Yes, like the dinosaur.) At that point, Holden is the calmest one in the vehicle - and the reason is because he has an awesome obsession with his thumb. Tangent: I'm so excited that my nephew sucks his thumb. It's seriously one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my entire life... next to the elephant butts at the San Diego Zoo and the little wee chipmunks that live in Schenley Park.
Finally, Shannon, Holden and I make it to IHOP. It is now 11am. In my attempt to make a long story short, I'll skip all of the details about our IHOP trip except that Shannon and I received our order around noon and almost each ate 1.5 meals. My plan for the day after breakfast was to go home, pack up a few boxes, shower, and get lunch with my two friends/co-workers, Heather and Marilyn. They had asked me a few weeks ago to go out with them before I moved away. We decided on Joe Mama's and we were meeting at 2:45pm. Marilyn had asked if I wanted to carpool, I said sure. She was picking me up at 2:30pm. Fabulous.
Get in the car, drive to Oakland, park on Oakland Ave and walk into Joe Mamas.
Hostess says, "Yes, I just seated them upstairs. Follow me."
We walk up the stairs, she points the the side room.
And I see people I know. Hmm, that's weird.
And then I realize that I know every single person in the room.
And then I hear them all scream "surprise."
And then I burst into tears.
I'm not sure that's what typically happens when a group of people scream "Surprise!" but I couldn't do anything but cry. Tangent: It's been determined, since then, that I'm actually a pretty crier and it makes me cute and endearing. Bonus points for Steph.
My friends threw me, and actually attended, a surprise going away party. Supposedly, this surprise party has been in the works since Shannon was on Maternity Leave with Holden. To give you some perspective, she went back to work in March.
My reaction and feelings on the subject:
Tangent: I like to talk about my feelings. If you don't want feelings, this is not a blog for you to read.
I can't believe that I had no idea that this was actually happening. I can't believe that Shannon spent all morning with me and didn't ruin the surprise at all. In addition, I can't believe that she got home, picked up my brother with the cake, changed Holden and headed back to Oakland in such a short time. I can't believe that I balled like a baby about having to leave Pittsburgh. I can't believe that I have such awesome people in my life and I'm going to have to live without them being near me physically when I'm in California. It's a hard concept to grasp - the leaving part - but I know that I will always have a home to come back to as long as my "Pittsburgh family" members are here.
Tangent: For those of you that were there, I completely forgot to say how excited I am to leave. I'm so excited. I'm going to be with Scott. But when touching things like this happen, and I get worked up, words don't always come out the way I intend them to. So yes, I'm extremely sad that I'm leaving the people that I've met and have grown to love dearly and if I could take you all with me, I would, but being with Scott right now is a top priority.
Lesson Learned: I am loved. Thank you for loving me. And you are going to miss me, hands down. Don't forget me. And actually, I'm not that worried because I know I won't let you forget about me.
But remember, while you're sad because you're going to miss one person - I'm missing everyone I'm leaving in Pittsburgh... and that's a lot of people.
Let me set the scene for you. Saturday afternoon, beautiful day in Pittsburgh, one of the last few weekends that I'm still going to be living in the Pittsburgh area. The following is the day from my point of view...
I set my alarm for 7am on Saturday morning. People don't do that 'just because', in case you are wondering. Not on a Saturday. Shannon and I were participating in a 5k walk on the North Shore. Tangent: Of course we decide that these types of community events are fun one week before I leave. FANTASTIC! Boo.
By the time we finished the walk, it was about 10am. Not only did we decide to go get breakfast at that point since I had only eaten a banana and Shannon only had a granola bar, but we decided that the place we absolutely had to go to was IHOP. I hadn't been to the IHOP on the way to the Waterfront yet and obviously my life would not be complete unless I made a visit before I moved out of town. Tangent: The last time I was in an IHOP, I was wee and I think I threw up in the dining room. I didn't even make it to the bathroom. You can ask Dr. Barry for the details, but I can't promise you he will remember. It's safe to assume that this is the reason why I haven't been to an IHOP since.
So, we get Holden, the stroller and us into the car and I navigate Shannon to 376. At that point, we're happy, we're laughing, we're driving in the hamster car on a gorgeous day and BAM! - stuck in a flippin' traffic jam. At first, our response is, "aw man! This stinks!" Then we get hungry and after 5 minutes of not moving, in addition to Shannon's road rage kicking in, our happy, fun moods turn sour. We convinced ourselves it was the Raptor. (Yes, like the dinosaur.) At that point, Holden is the calmest one in the vehicle - and the reason is because he has an awesome obsession with his thumb. Tangent: I'm so excited that my nephew sucks his thumb. It's seriously one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my entire life... next to the elephant butts at the San Diego Zoo and the little wee chipmunks that live in Schenley Park.
Finally, Shannon, Holden and I make it to IHOP. It is now 11am. In my attempt to make a long story short, I'll skip all of the details about our IHOP trip except that Shannon and I received our order around noon and almost each ate 1.5 meals. My plan for the day after breakfast was to go home, pack up a few boxes, shower, and get lunch with my two friends/co-workers, Heather and Marilyn. They had asked me a few weeks ago to go out with them before I moved away. We decided on Joe Mama's and we were meeting at 2:45pm. Marilyn had asked if I wanted to carpool, I said sure. She was picking me up at 2:30pm. Fabulous.
Get in the car, drive to Oakland, park on Oakland Ave and walk into Joe Mamas.
Hostess says, "Yes, I just seated them upstairs. Follow me."
We walk up the stairs, she points the the side room.
And I see people I know. Hmm, that's weird.
And then I realize that I know every single person in the room.
And then I hear them all scream "surprise."
And then I burst into tears.
I'm not sure that's what typically happens when a group of people scream "Surprise!" but I couldn't do anything but cry. Tangent: It's been determined, since then, that I'm actually a pretty crier and it makes me cute and endearing. Bonus points for Steph.
My friends threw me, and actually attended, a surprise going away party. Supposedly, this surprise party has been in the works since Shannon was on Maternity Leave with Holden. To give you some perspective, she went back to work in March.
My reaction and feelings on the subject:
Tangent: I like to talk about my feelings. If you don't want feelings, this is not a blog for you to read.
I can't believe that I had no idea that this was actually happening. I can't believe that Shannon spent all morning with me and didn't ruin the surprise at all. In addition, I can't believe that she got home, picked up my brother with the cake, changed Holden and headed back to Oakland in such a short time. I can't believe that I balled like a baby about having to leave Pittsburgh. I can't believe that I have such awesome people in my life and I'm going to have to live without them being near me physically when I'm in California. It's a hard concept to grasp - the leaving part - but I know that I will always have a home to come back to as long as my "Pittsburgh family" members are here.
Tangent: For those of you that were there, I completely forgot to say how excited I am to leave. I'm so excited. I'm going to be with Scott. But when touching things like this happen, and I get worked up, words don't always come out the way I intend them to. So yes, I'm extremely sad that I'm leaving the people that I've met and have grown to love dearly and if I could take you all with me, I would, but being with Scott right now is a top priority.
Lesson Learned: I am loved. Thank you for loving me. And you are going to miss me, hands down. Don't forget me. And actually, I'm not that worried because I know I won't let you forget about me.
But remember, while you're sad because you're going to miss one person - I'm missing everyone I'm leaving in Pittsburgh... and that's a lot of people.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Every chapter must come to an end...
...and this has been one hell of a chapter.
It seems fitting to start at the beginning, even though it's often helpful to start at the end and work backwards. I apologize if I jump around a bit, but just know that I'm trying my best to keep it in chronological order.
This chapter is titled, "Pittsburgh." I arrived in Pittsburgh a little girl and I'm leaving Pittsburgh a semi-responsible, still extremely young woman. That's right! This girl got her big break outta here! (Attempt 1 at starting at the beginning - FAIL.)
Ok, attempt number 2 to start from the beginning:
I arrived in Pittsburgh in 2003 - 17 year old. I came to Pittsburgh with my dad's name on my mac card. I came to Pittsburgh to start college. I came to Pittsburgh to be a doctor. I came to Pittsburgh knowing who I was as a person.
ERRRR! WRONG!
Ok, my dad's name was on my mac card and I did want to be a doctor when I first started at Pitt. I thought I knew who I was as a person, and I was actually comfortable with the person I had become, but in reality, I had no friggin' clue who I was. 4.5 years of meeting new people, trying new things, getting my heart broken, making mistakes, growing a pair and taking on the world. Joined a sorority - never thought I'd do that. Became the President of that sorority (bet you didn't think I'd even hold a leadership position.) Graduated! I stayed in Pittsburgh! What?! William says it's because I can't live in a place that he's never lived before, since I followed him out to Pittsburgh. I got a job! A real person's job. A job where I was considered a "Professional." This was when I was 23. 23 YEARS OLD and I had an assistant. Poor Ann for having to deal with a kid who had no idea of what it meant to have an assistant. And then they liked me so much that I was promoted! Praised and promoted - in a job that I love... in a place that I love... with people that I absolutely adore. What else could a girl want?!
Well, what does every girl want? A boy. Well, in November 2009, I got that too! Scott, the love of my life, asked me out on a date and that date changed my life. Fast forward to today. I know exactly the type of person I am and love how I've turned out. My own name is on my bank card and on all of my credit cards (that I'm proud to say I pay off all by myself.) I finally have my great life and I have my sh*t together and now...
My "Pittsburgh" chapter must come to an end because Scott and I are moving to Laguna Beach, California!
That's right! Actually, not completely. He's already there. He's made the move. I, on the other hand, will be moving in a few weeks so that we can start our lives together. I forgot to mention a big part of this - he's my fiance! We're getting married Sunday, September 2, 2012. So not only are we going to be living in California, we have to start planning our wedding!
So, this entry is to set the scene. Emotional reactions are soon to come.
It seems fitting to start at the beginning, even though it's often helpful to start at the end and work backwards. I apologize if I jump around a bit, but just know that I'm trying my best to keep it in chronological order.
This chapter is titled, "Pittsburgh." I arrived in Pittsburgh a little girl and I'm leaving Pittsburgh a semi-responsible, still extremely young woman. That's right! This girl got her big break outta here! (Attempt 1 at starting at the beginning - FAIL.)
Ok, attempt number 2 to start from the beginning:
I arrived in Pittsburgh in 2003 - 17 year old. I came to Pittsburgh with my dad's name on my mac card. I came to Pittsburgh to start college. I came to Pittsburgh to be a doctor. I came to Pittsburgh knowing who I was as a person.
ERRRR! WRONG!
Ok, my dad's name was on my mac card and I did want to be a doctor when I first started at Pitt. I thought I knew who I was as a person, and I was actually comfortable with the person I had become, but in reality, I had no friggin' clue who I was. 4.5 years of meeting new people, trying new things, getting my heart broken, making mistakes, growing a pair and taking on the world. Joined a sorority - never thought I'd do that. Became the President of that sorority (bet you didn't think I'd even hold a leadership position.) Graduated! I stayed in Pittsburgh! What?! William says it's because I can't live in a place that he's never lived before, since I followed him out to Pittsburgh. I got a job! A real person's job. A job where I was considered a "Professional." This was when I was 23. 23 YEARS OLD and I had an assistant. Poor Ann for having to deal with a kid who had no idea of what it meant to have an assistant. And then they liked me so much that I was promoted! Praised and promoted - in a job that I love... in a place that I love... with people that I absolutely adore. What else could a girl want?!
Well, what does every girl want? A boy. Well, in November 2009, I got that too! Scott, the love of my life, asked me out on a date and that date changed my life. Fast forward to today. I know exactly the type of person I am and love how I've turned out. My own name is on my bank card and on all of my credit cards (that I'm proud to say I pay off all by myself.) I finally have my great life and I have my sh*t together and now...
My "Pittsburgh" chapter must come to an end because Scott and I are moving to Laguna Beach, California!
That's right! Actually, not completely. He's already there. He's made the move. I, on the other hand, will be moving in a few weeks so that we can start our lives together. I forgot to mention a big part of this - he's my fiance! We're getting married Sunday, September 2, 2012. So not only are we going to be living in California, we have to start planning our wedding!
So, this entry is to set the scene. Emotional reactions are soon to come.
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